I couldn't even close my eyes, there I lied in the Girls Dormitories, and while all my classmates were deeply sleeping, I was awake thinking about the last events of the night. Had I really kissed James Potter ? I had, indeed, but it didn't mean I liked him, now did it ? No, of course not, how could I like him after I'd despised him for almost all the years I'd attended Hogwarts. Things couldn't change, they couldn't suddenly take such a dramatic turn, it was impossible. 'I do not like James Potter', I kept repeating those words to myself, to comfort me. But I knew I wouldn't get any rest. I had so much thinking going on, so much thoughts running through my mind, wrestling one another to be heard, I felt like my head was going to explode. Bringing both small hands to my head, I took a deep breath and closed my almond-shaped eyes slowly, "I do not like James Potter... I do not like James Potter...", I whispered to myself.
Finally, after a low yawn, I fell asleep, but before I knew it, the bell wrung and it was time to get up. Girls rushed everywhere, kicking their sheets off the bed, putting on their Gryffindor uniforms and fighting to get a hold of the hair brush and a sight of the mirror.
"Get away , Bianca", I heard one tell the other, "You've had the mirror all week, I've been looking like a complete mess." "I haven't, get away!" Typical girly conversations. I sighed, and kicked the red sheets away from the bed, my two feet touching the cold wooden floor. I put on my socks, my shoes. Took off my pajama's, and put on my skirt, my white shirt and my golden and red colored tie. I then ran my hands through my bright red hair, only to figure how much of a mess it was. "Bloody merlin...", I murmured silently, pulling the thick strands of it into a messy bun. I looked tired, with those bags under my eyes, I really wasn't at my best today but I'd never been one to spend hours trying to 'look nice' .
I reached the Common Room downstairs, took my books , and the things I needed, and head for my first class; Herbology. It wasn't a very difficult class, which was a good thing, since I didn't think I'd be able to concentrate as much today. I walked down the stairs, and ran to Herbology class , where I arrived earlier than other; at least not late. "Morning, Professor", I said in a polite tone of voice, a small smile across my freckled face as I put my books down. Soon enough, I heard loud laughs, and running. Most likely the marauders. I saw James rush in first, Sirius second.
"I'm first!", James yelled out , followed by a low pitched scream, "You owe me five galleons!"
"I'm not giving you five galleons", huffed Sirius, crossing his arms.
"That was our deal, Padfoot!"
"Well, the deal's broken, cheater. You passed through the portraits!"
"The 'deal' didn't contain any rules", James insisted, giving his best friend a small wink.
"I'll shove the five galleons where I'm thin-"
"Silence!", yelled out the Herbology teacher, visibly bothered, "Potter, Black, you will talk about your bets and deals when the class is dismissed.
Now go back to your places and be sure you keep quiet, you wouldn't want to get into detention, would you?"
"Detention's like my second home, though", Sirius replied jokingly and shared a laugh with James, as Peter and Remus arrived.
"Don't try to be the funny one here, Black, you're only making a fool of yourself. Now go back to your seat", ordered Professor Herbology.
I saw the four boys walk to their seats, but I avoided James' gaze. I didn't know how to react , honestly, did I have to act as usual ? Ignore him, push him away ? Or did I have to be more gentle now that we'd... snogged. No, of course not. We were just playing. Pft. It wasn't like it was anything serious , right ? Besides, it was still /James/. The class went normally , James and I would share a smile , here and there. I /was/ starting to like him, but I had way too much pride and was way to stubborn to admit such a thing. At least, out loud. And the class was dismissed.
I'd headed to the library that afternoon to finish my homework quickly so I could go spend some time at the Common Room, and possibly find James there. I took a brick of books I called my light reading , and, a few strands of bright red hair falling across my pink cheeks, I walked down the hallway.
"Come on, you know you want to go take a walk with handsome James Potter..."
What had I just heard ? That tone of voice, the hint of over-confidence and arrogance, it couldn't be mistaken for anyone else besides James. I rose an eyebrow, and heard the sentence one more time. I felt my heart stop , skipping a beat or two , and I held my books even tighter to my chest . I hid behind a statue , and my emerald eyes observed the scene. James was leaning against the wall, flirting with a blonde haired, tall girl. A ravenclaw a year older than us . How dared he ?
"I don't know if I have plans for saturday evening, though", said quietly the blonde Ravenclawed in a soft tone of voice, playing with one of her perfect locks.
"Well, you do. With me", James replied , winking at him.
"Alright...", the blonde bit her lip shyly , her finger still playing around with her golden lock, "I'll see you saturday, I suppose?"
"You definitely will, beautiful."
Beautiful? That was /her/ nickname. He'd used /her/ nickname to flirt with some other girl. I was furious, even more than that. I clenched my fists and bit my inner lip so hard I almost made it bleed. My heart was racing, nearly pounding right out of my chest. My eyes watered, but I quickly managed to get a hold of myself. "Jerk", I mumbled angrily. How could I have been fooled like that, how could he have made me believe that he was a sincere guy , and that despite his annoying actions and his arrogant attitude, he was a good guy deep inside. He wasn't. He was still a brat. I ran to the common room, threw my books down near the fire and jumped on the couch, kicking my shoes off. I didn't care about anyone's opinion on my sudden mood swing, only I understood where the frustration and the rush came from and I didn't need to give an explanation to anyone.
"Oi, Evans", James smirked proudly as he walked over me.
"Go away, Potter."
"Nothing is wrong. Now, go away. I'm in no mood to talk to a selfish jerk like you , who only thinks about himself instead of others."
"What do you mean?", he frowned, concerned, and sat next to me.
I childishly pushed him away, causing him to stand up.
"I mean what you just heard; stop talking to me."
"Only if you give me a reason to."
"Just have fun saturday, will you?", I snapped, got up, forgetting my books there and climbing up the stairs. But I felt someone take a hold of me .
"Lily... it's not what you think."
"Then what is it, 'handsome James Potter', tell me?!", I was literally yelling at him, but I felt like he deserved being yelled at the way I was doing it. He /had/ kissed me, and he /had/ flirted with another girl. Even if I didn't like him, I was still upset. Why ? I had no idea, all I knew is that I was.
"You never show interest in me, that's what I've been doing for the past bloody years at Hogwarts Lily, I've been playing around here and there, but you well know the only beautiful one is you!"
"Then, if I'm the only one, try to stop calling everyone that way and maybe I'll start believing you."
"Tell me what I can do...", he insisted, not letting go off my hand. I pulled away bitterly, and spitefully rolled my eyes at his attempt at making things right. I wasn't one to forgive so easily, he should have known after what had happened with Sev.
"Start acting like a man instead of a grown bloody child, James Potter! Then, you can come back and talk to me. Until then, save your breath, and don't bother coming up to me again."
And I meant it.